The Big Little Podcast

Episode 3 – Regression, BDSM Events

Posted on: March 6, 2011

Episode 3 – Regression, BDSM Events

Big Little Podcast Episodeย 3

Transcription: Available here. Transcribed by Valentalae.

Show Notes:

Thanks to our special guest, peanut.

Other show notes coming soon.

14 Responses to "Episode 3 – Regression, BDSM Events"

Loved the podcasts! Great job, I’m very much looking forward to hearing more from you guys in the future. Thanks for putting it together, sound is awesome, great production value.

I’d love to hear some stuff on play party and group ettiquette. I’ve met individual AB’s before and can navigating the social moires between two people is one thing – but having never met or played with a group before, I’d love to get a rundown of some do’s and don’ts. Some are obvious, like I imagine that expecting others to change you is probably a no no, but what are some of the finer points on being a good playmate or party goer?

Thanks again!
Todd

-Live outside of Atlanta, so I hope to make a much soon!

Hi Todd,

Thanks for listening and taking the time to give us some feedback about the show. It’s nice to know when others are enjoying the shows as much as we have been enjoying making them.

I like your show ideas and I hope we can address them in the future. Makes me think we need a Miss Manner kind of segment for future shows. ๐Ÿ™‚

I hope you are able to make it out to a munch in the near future.

Thanks *snuggles* !
spacey – Adopted by Lady Mae

So, I just got finished listening to the podcast (I know, it took a long time for me to get to it – sorry!) and I just wanted to say that this was a lot of fun to listen to. You could really tell that you guys were totally enjoying it, which is awesome.

Some things that stuck out to me: When you guys were talking about exclusivity and how people say “I do xyz” or “I have a Mommy not a Mistress” thing… I sometimes do that, but it’s more along the lines of me saying what it is that I do, so that others know more about what I do than exclusivity. I haven’t really noticed that much exclusive thinking when it comes to age players – which is one of the reasons I like being around them. I’ve found it happening a lot more toward age players from “mainstream” kink people than within the ranks of age players themselves. Maybe I just haven’t noticed it, or I haven’t been around it long enough to have had that experience.

Another thing… It continues to surprise me to hear that some of the littles can be the D-part or the Top in a relationship. I’ve always heard Daddy/little girl (that is to say Daddy being the Top and girl being the bottom, or variations of that wording) relationships (I’m coming from the “wider” world of Ms/Ds here) but never daddy/Little Girl. Or am I getting the wrong impression? Can someone give more details about this?

I know that Mako said that in Peanut’s relationship (which from the outside sounds like a dynamic that’s similar to S and mine) Peanut is the more outgoing (and bossy) participant and her Daddy is more like the common sense. That, to me, sounds kinda how things usually are… I mean, “kidz” are usually more high-energy and outgoing – always wanting to be in the middle of things and the “can I do” whereas the adults are usually more sedate, “now we should think about this/make a plan” – at least, from my experience the more responsible adults are. So are we talking the difference between this energy exchange, or are the littles actually the Littles? (If that makes sense?)

Lastly… all about the regression. This is a topic that’s fascinating to me, because (to me) I never regress or be disassociative. The concept that instead of never doing it but *always* doing it hasn’t really occurred to me until recently. You guys kept saying that you were doing that on the show – to me, it just sounded like what I do quite nearly all the time. Sometimes, it drives the other adults around me nuts, and I didn’t really realize the *why* it does (because, to me, that’s simply how I am and “human nature”ish) – but if it’s because I’m regressing around other people who aren’t aware of what’s going on, I can see why it would annoy them. So, thanks for this podcast – it’s given me some food for thought and given me insight into a behavior of other people.

Hi there kisa,

I hope you know we love all the detailed feedback you’ve been giving us. We may not act on or be able to get to everything but we think about it and I think that helps us do better work.

I’m glad to hear you enjoyed this show and that you’ve not experienced as much judgement and expectation from other age players. I think I’ve noticed more of what brother and I were talking about — that one-true-wayism — online than in person. I think it also depends on where you are. The DC age players I’ve met, much like Atlanta and many other places, tend to be a pretty open minded group. Unfortunately from time to time, I hear about/run into other groups and people that are not so accepting of variation.

I think the little parter acting as the dominant role in a relationship is far more common than most people think. And frankly, when it happens in a public playspace and people aren’t expecting it, it can be fun to watch it break other people’s brains a little bit. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Just like other areas, the dynamic is really explored and negotiated by the people in the relationship. In my relationship with my mommy, high energy or no, she is clearly the dominant. But, I personally, am a switch. And I have topped folks as a little before. In fact, I’ve topped other littles and a little myself. I’m no so worried about the terms. Just expressing what feels fun and right.

I’m so glad to know that we’ve given you some fun things to think about. I surely look forward to hearing more from you. Thank you!

*snuggles*
spacey – Adopted by Lady Mae

Great job with the podcast guys! I wanted to say I liked your point about treating others with respect. The one thing that annoys the hell out of me is when people think their fetish or kink is somehow superior then someone else’s. But I guess expecting people to be kind and excepting is unrealistic.

Hi James,

Thank you for the comment. I agree we can never hit this point too munch. If you want acceptance and respect, give it! It’s so important. I’m glad it it resonated with you too.

*snuggles*
spacey – Adopted by Lady Mae

i left a comment in the general comments area about this show…so rather than place it here again, i just want to say how much i enjoyed the show. great job everyone!

i’m wondering if you’d ever consider doing a podcast about adult babies and littles and chronological age. some abs i know have become “daddies” as they get 40 or 50 or older chronologically, while i know there are abs who still enjoy regression in their 60s and 70s. every once in a while i’ll see someone raise the issue on the various ab/dl sites. just a suggestion!

hugs,
baby jimmy

Hi baby jimmy,

So glad to know you’re enjoy it. We sure do enjoy making it. ๐Ÿ™‚

As for age and age play, it’s definitely a topic we want to address. I know brother and I have a lot to say on the topic. And not to tip my hand too much, bit I really feel there are a lot of people out there who are getting treated very poorly and unfairly.

But, of course, there are some practical issues that come with aging and age play and we want to talk about those too.

Thanks for writing and the great suggestion.

*snuggles*
spacey – Adopted by Lady Mae

Hi guys! Oh, AND Peanut!

I may not comment a lot on the podcasts but I wanted to thank you two and everyone involved. I love this!

Regression: For me forced regression is my ultimate fetish/kink or what have you. I love staying in that phase right before regression actually takes hold.

However, regression does happen to me and I also enjoy it. I wanted to share an experience…

So, I was being sarcastic and bratty on day and as funishment my Daddy/Sir decided to put me into the corner of the kitchen. Normally it wouldn’t have had that much of an impact on me… However, we had a few kinky friends over who saw me in the corner which made my humiliation all the more deeper.

Daddy/Sir had me sing a song and preform the actions to it. I hit regression like a bucket of bricks hitting concrete! Next Daddy/Sir wanted me to say my ABC’s… For the life of me I couldn’t get past E, I just couldn’t remember my ABC’s!

Daddy/Sir giggled and let me out of the corner. He put some toys in the living room and I had some regression time. This was years ago and we both still remember it!

On the topic of BDSM/Age play. Both Daddy/Sir and I have attended a large number of Age play and or BDSM events and munches. In my experience I have had issues with the ABDL community. (Okay fine a collection… LOL)

Anyhow, I generally found myself able to speak about diapers and age play at these events. But when it came to ANYTHING related to dominance, submission, floggers, wax, bondage, anything outside of age play I was looked at as if I had just shouted the foulest cuss word possible.

If I hear one more time, “You don’t hit a baby!” I am going to scream. If I hear one more time, “Ew sex is gross.” I am going to kill that person LOL

I have no problem giving any sort of acceptance to a non-sexual age player. Or to anyone who doesn’t involve other kinks into their age play.

To be honest I find myself more comfortable in the BDSM community. For various reasons, this is one of the biggest of them.

I belong to a local kink group. No, it doesn’t have many age players. However, at a party I could run around with nothing but a diaper on if I choose to. I could be flogged while wearing a diaper and it wouldn’t be a problem.

In fact at the last party I wore a pair of overalls and three thick layers of disposable diapers. Everyone knew. (Kinda hard to miss, specially when Daddy/Sir asks “Aw, is my little girl wearing her diapers tonight?”) And such things… Guess what? NO ONE CARED. In fact some people thought it was cute.

Years ago I brought an awesome flogger my Daddy/Sir had made to an age play orientated munch. It was a total disaster. People held it as if it would bite them. Some wouldn’t even look at it let alone touch it.

Thanks for listening I know this is a pretty long response but I needed to get it off my chest!

-Kim

Wow Kim,

Thanks so much for writing this. No worried about getting things off your chest. We’re glad to have you here and that you feel comfortable enough to share your experiences.

I’m sorry to learn that you’ve had some negative experiences among the AB/DL community. It disturbs me that a marginalized group should itself be marginalizing of others.

I surely hope this didn’t happen at one of the http://LittlesMunch.com groups. I only have a few rules for the munches that are listed there. The most important is that the munch has to be open to age players of all kinds. That means not just ABDLs, not just Daddy/girl, and so on. It means that the events should be pansexual. And it that all kinds of different configurations of consensual age play relationships must be accepted. (If it was, please contact me here or directly spacey@biglittlepodcast.com)

That said, I can totally imagine some folks mishandling or not understanding a flogger at party. That seems like a great teaching opportunity. But I guess not everyone is going to be interested in everything during show and tell. If you guys get a chance to come by the Atlanta Littles Munch, I hope to see it. I love good flogger/flogging. ๐Ÿ™‚

As for my experience being an age play in the BDSM community, things have improved MAJORLY in the last decade or so. When I started out in the mid-90s, going to the BDSM club was an exercise in educating folks and and dealing with stink-eye. But today, thanks to you and so many others, we age players are more visible in the community than ever. That hasn’t magically made things perfect, but it sure has helped.

Thanks for the regression story too! You know, what brings regression to a person seems to be an individual thing. I’m glad to hear you had such a fun experience with it.

*snuggles*
spacey – Adopted by Lady Mae

Hey Spacey,

First thanks for the reply. I’ve known Mako for a long time but I don’t think I have been able to speak to you much. However, anyone who makes Mako this happy I am sure to adore!

No, I haven’t had a chance to go to one of the little’s munches. These occurrences where at other events and munches. See me in private and I can give you a short list. I’m not going to outright bash any group/s because that just wouldn’t be right.

Oh, we would have loved to teach a small demo on flogging! We both love to teach basics. It wasn’t just that there was no interest… It seemed more of a rejection.

And as far as not being accepted by the mainstream society on the BDSM side of things I have dealt with that too. For the longest time until I found two different groups I seemed to be sort of stuck in the middle, having to choose one or the other… Which type of function I would go to and what I wouldn’t be able to talk about.

I would love to come and see all of you! But funding is a bit low and I attend school full time. (Yes, Mako I finally decided to do something about my writing LOL)

Maybe we can save up and see all of you during the next spring break? It seems far from now, but it is a possibility!

Thanks for reading,

-Kim

Thank you so much for these podcast, they have helped me immensely to realize that I’m not alone in how I feel as a Little.

I also wanted to add that I’m like Mako in that I pride myself in my ability to communicate as a Big but sometimes my Little side screws me up especially with words like caterpillar and butterfly (which in Little mode are callapitter and flutterbye) and I’ll accidentally say them wrong when I’m Big and I get so frustrated by it.

Love you’re show, I’m playing catch up right now but I’m glad you have them available for me and the rest of the community.

~Nekomimi Loli

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